What is fair??

Well, it's been a long time, and I am wearing my heart on my sleeve with this one, but here goes.

"It's not fair!"

Such a familiar concept isn't it? It's something we learn from a very young age! If we think our sibling might have got more than us or something we didn't get, we would say those exact words! And I know that as a parent you try very hard to keep things fair between your children.

As we progress into adulthood, I think we still cling to this concept of fairness. When we see those who are weak being abused by the strong, we cry out against the unfairness of it. If someone gets special treatment, we say, "It's not fair!" Even our 'Tall Poppy Syndrome" hinges on this idea of fairness.

Over the last 2 years I have grappled with this concept. I relate to King David and Jeremiah so much. I think they grappled with this too! (Jeremiah 12:1; Psalm 10) As I have walked through the most difficult time of my life, as I have suffered heartbreak, feelings of abandonment, worthlessness and brokenness, I must confess that I have cried out to God many times, "It's not fair!" Along with "How long, Oh God, how long!!"

But the more I get to know my God, the more I read His word and spend time in His presence, the more I cry out to Him, the more I come to realise that God is not fair. Fairness to me is a human concept!! Or at least, our understanding of what is fair. The bible doesn't talk much about 'fairness'. It says that God is Just, but doesn't really talk about 'fairness'. (Deut 32:4) (I did find one verse - Prov 2:9 - which in the NIV says, "Then you will understand what is right and just AND fair - every good path - This is predominantly talking about knowing God and thereby understanding what is just and fair, i.e. God's version of what is fair, not ours!!). Maybe it's semantics, and I haven't studied Hebrew or Greek, so forgive me if I am incorrect. This, however, is the understanding I have come to. Jesus said, "I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In the world you will have trouble, but take heart! I have overcome the world." (John 16:23)

He didn't promise us an easy life. Quite the opposite (2 Timothy 3:12). He didn't promise us fairness. But He did promise justice, faithfulness (Deut 32:4) and peace (John 16:23). He talks about 'turning the other cheek' if someone slaps us in the face,  and when someone wants to take our shirt, to offer our coat as well! (Matthew 5:39-42) This is so countercultural! The reality is that if He were fair, we would all be spending Eternity separated from Him. We deserve the consequences of our selfishness, our lies, our sin. But instead, he humbled Himself, came to earth as a frail human being, and took all of our mistakes, our failures, our sin, on His shoulders, and paid the price for us. It wasn't fair. I am so so glad of that. I deserve death but He offers me life. I am forever grateful.

And so God is NOT fair (in a human understanding of the word). But He IS Just. He IS Faithful. He IS Loving. As someone who is still walking through the valley, I can attest to this. And this is somewhat freeing. Because I want to be like that too. I want to give even though I might get nothing in return. I want to love even though I am not loved back. I want to serve without being served. I am not there by any stretch of the imagination. But I pray that gradually He will make me more like Him; more faithful, more loving, more kind, more giving...but not fair.